The Real Kon-El
by Slipstream
Summary: Song-fic, Superboy parody of "The Real Slim Shady"


Posted by Slipstream on Friday, September 01 2000 at 14:40:44 PDT  
  
Okay, this is a weird little song fic that popped into my consciousness in the middle of band. Don't blame me, band is right  
before lunch, so my glucose level was low. I'm scary when I don't have my sugar.  
  
-Slip  
p.s. "The Real Slim Shady" is property of Eminem. Hope I don't get sued or put in a song...  
  
  
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The Real Kon-El  
By Slipstream  
To the tune of "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem  
  
  
  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real SB please stand up?  
I repeat will the real SB please stand up?  
We're going to have a problem here   
  
Ya'll act like you never seen a clone before  
Jaws all on the floor like 'Supes just burst in the door  
Start whoopin some Agenda butt worse than before  
They first try to run from the guy with the TTK (scream)  
It's the revenge of the  
"Oh wait, no way, your kidding, he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"  
And Dr. Westfield said  
....Nothing you idiots Dr. Paul's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha)  
All the women love Konny  
Chicka chicka chicka SB I'm in love with him  
Look at him, flyin' around usin' his you know what  
Braggin' you know who "yeah, and hes so cute, ooh!"  
I may be a few memories short of a full set, yeah.   
but growin' up in a test tube 'ill do that to ya.  
Sometimes I wanna go to Cadmus and just let loose,  
but can't, but its cool for Tim Drake to up an' vamoose!  
My powers are on the fritz, my powers are on the fritz,  
and if I'm lucky they'll come back without a hitch  
And that's the review that we deliver to little kids  
and expect them to know what a spoiler space is.  
Of course they gonna know what the plot line is  
by the time they hit the comic stands,  
they got the internet don't they?  
We ain't nothing but posters; well some of us dopesters  
who flame other people like some BBQ roasters.  
But if we can post rants and raves  
then there's no reason that any one fic has got to be our fave.  
But if you feel like I feel then we got the right to mope.  
Heroes wave your spandex, sing the chorus and it goes...  
  
  
I'm Konny  
Yes I'm the real SB  
All you other Konnys are just not me  
So won't the real SB...  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
becuase I'm SB  
Yes I'm the real SB  
All you other SBs are just not me  
So won't the real SB...  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
(Match, go away)  
  
  
Robin don't gotta flex to get all the girls  
Well I do, and I like it! 'Cuz I'm stronger than him,  
You think I give a damn about bein' all brainy?  
Half of the world don' even know he exist, much less seen 'im.  
"But Rob why don't you tell us what your real name is?"  
Me? Don't got a name, don't care much to have one.  
And Bart's kinda oblivious, all he does is run.  
And in the cycle, Suzie better switch me spots  
So I can sit next to Cissie King and Wonder Girl  
And hear 'em talk 'bout who kissed me first.  
Arrowette and her opinion on Robbie…  
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's dating Spoiler, hehe"  
And I'd have love'd to see Al's face when he  
Saw his girl had a life-sized poster of me! (argh!)  
I'm sick of you little government groups all you do is annoy me  
It's like you've been sent out to destroy me  
And make millions of clones just like me  
Who flirt like me  
Who brag 'bout their TTK like me  
Who dress like me  
Walk, talk and act like me  
It just might be the next best thing  
But not quite me  
(so there, Match *phtttttp*)  
  
  
I'm Konny  
Yes I'm the real SB  
All you other Konnys are just not me  
So won't the real SB...  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
becuase I'm SB  
Yes I'm the real SB  
All you other SBs are just not me  
So won't the real SB...  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
(Match, go away)  
  
  
I'm like a headtrip to fight to,  
Cause I'm only giving you  
A coupla seconds to get your act back together, give you no room  
The only difference between me an' a bad guy  
Is I brawl for truth, justice an' the American way  
I've got my tactile telekinesis an' I'm gonna use it  
And whether you like to admit it (ka-POW!)  
I just hit it better than 90% of you heroes out there  
Then you wonder how can villans can eat my fist all the time  
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 90  
I'll be the only person in the nursing home with acne.  
Bein' sad about never bein' older than sweet 16,  
Think I'll take all my problems and go on "Jenny"  
And every single person is a SB lurkin'  
Coverin' up all that angst with a bravo macho thing  
Or in the parking lot in circles runnin'  
Screaming "up, up and AWAY!"  
Tryin' to think of some'tin cool to say  
So will the real Kon-El, please stand up, please stand up.  
And forget all about not growin' up, not growin up.  
And to be proud to be young and outta control  
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
  
I'm Konny  
Yes I'm the real SB  
All you other Konnys are just not me  
So won't the real SB...  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
becuase I'm SB  
Yes I'm the real SB  
All you other SBs are just not me  
So won't the real SB...  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
(Match, go away) 


End file.
